Ten Tips to A Better Screenplay

 (Guest Blogger/Consultant Julia Bergeron provides these tips.  Good advice!)

1.     Make your protagonist active.  So easy to say, so important to do.  Passive protagonists who don’t have a goal and/or don’t pursue their goal are the downfall of potentially great dramas.  Don’t let that be the downfall of your script.  Let your hero act.

2.     Show don’t tell.  I know, I know. You’ve heard that before and plenty of times.  That’s because it’s so important.  Film is visual therefore creating strong images is a key to writing a solid screenplay.  Rather than use exposition to have a character tell us, “Cora is the world’s best sharpshooter,” show a scene where Cora makes an extraordinary shot.  Show.  Don’t tell.

3.     Write in the active present tense.  It’s, “Jericho kicks the door in.” and not “Jericho is kicking in the door.”  Screenplays unfold as we read them and the active present tense reinforces that impression.

4.     Spell check.  Format check.  Script writing software makes it easy to do it.  The other guy will.  You should too.

5.     Read your script out loud. There is no better way to develop an ear for on the nose dialogue than to hear your script out loud.   So, read it aloud.  Better yet have friends read it out loud while you sit silently and listen.  Oh, you’ll want to jump in, to correct them, to explain.  Don’t.  Don’t correct them, don’t interrupt, don’t defend your script.  Just listen to it.  If your readers make mistakes, the readers you submit your script to just might make the same errors.  Fix the errors; don’t blame “bad” readers.  In fact, thank them.  They are allowing you to hear your script’s weaknesses.  A decent actor can make bad dialogue sound reasonable.  But you aren’t writing your spec script for a “decent” actor, are you?  I’m writing mine for Penelope Cruz! And we are all writing for the reader. 

6.     Between the truth and the legend, tell the legend.  This means don’t overwhelm the story with factual, but boring, details.  Alfred Hitchcock said, “Drama is life with all the boring parts cut out of it.” Cut out the boring bits.  While it might be true that it takes a half hour to saddle up a horse, adjust the stirrups, put the bit in, etc., the fact is you are not writing a horse-care manual.  You are writing a screenplay. When it comes to it, just have the cowboy hop on the horse and go.

7.     No chitchat.  Films are expensive to make. The average cost to make a studio film in 2006 was $65 million (it’s more now) plus marketing.  That’s easily $500,000 per page.  It’s unlikely that a producer is going to pay that much money for “Hi, Bob, nice to meet you.”  And when it’s an independent film on a tight budget, there is even less money to spend on chitchat.  So eliminate it.  Enter as late as possible; leave as early as possible for each scene.  Words are money.  Make them count.

8.     Steer clear of  “talking heads” scenes.  What are those?  That’s when two characters sit around and talk.  Maybe they eat or drink but basically they aren’t doing much.  Usually they are just telling all about themselves.  You’ll often find these in the first draft of a “date scene.”  Remember: telling = dull.  Dull = no sale.  However… If you must include a “talking heads” scene, make it active.   The characters can be doing something totally unrelated to what they are talking about. And you can use that activity to reveal completely new and interesting information. For example, if it’s a date scene, rather than have the date happen in a restaurant, figure out a hobby or an interest that your character has.  Maybe tennis.  Or making sushi.  Or skeet shooting.  Every scene is another opportunity to create something visually interesting. Use every opportunity to put something visual on the page.

9.     Grab us emotionally.  In important moments, slow down and let the reader see and feel how those moments or events affect your character.  For example, if two characters kiss for the first time, don’t have them kiss and then immediately race on to the next plot point.  Show the reader how the characters feel about that experience. We want to know what happens, but we also want to how the characters feel about what happens.   Show us what they feel.

10. Last tip.  Have fun!  Love your characters.  Love the story that you’re telling. If you love it, the chances are much higher other people will too.  And if they don’t, well, you had fun writing it.  And now, if you’ll excuse me, I am off for some “fun” writing of my own!

To contact Julia email her:  thescriptconsultant@gmail.com

The Revengers Downsize -- (Avengers Parody)

Avengers spoof I wrote for fun.

The Revengers Downsize -- (Avengers Parody) - watch more funny videos

Scripped.com

How had I not heard about this website? It’s now the top-ranked traffic count screenwriting website out there.

What is it? Free screenwriting software. Okay, you may already have that. How about an online community of writers to share reads? Groups to discuss a variety of screenwriting-related topics.

And how about… contests. I discovered the site entering the Ed Burns Scripped contest (Ed is on the board of the Scripped company). Contest assignment was to write the first fifteen pages based on a setup they provided. Then this month they are running a Spike-TV contest. Chance to have your pilot air on network television.

Turns out all the contests are free if you’re a subscriber to Scripped’s pro service. Check out the site. 60,000 users already and growing.

Table Read Your Screenplay

Couple of weeks ago I found out I’d won the Grand Prize in the Table Read My Screenplay contest. Being flown out to L.A. next month and should be fun.

What is a table read? A table read is a group of actors brought together to go through a script. Each actor is assigned character or several characters.

Why do this? Screenplays should contain realistic dialogue. A table read allows you as writer to hear the work performed and make adjustments. Actors may trim words or take approaches to the character. Certain lines will appear redundant or on the nose. All of these improvements can springboard from a table read.

There are additional benefits depending on the genre. For example, a talented comic actor may get into character and improvise creating usable material.

How to do this?

1. Location. Pick a location where you have some degree of privacy. You want the actors to let it rip. If they get in character and begin yelling or moving about you’ll quickly become a distraction, if not annoyance, to a public location. Classroom, private room at a restaurant, or your home are suggestions.

2. Pay. Actors appreciate a show of respect for their effort. Some nominal pay (20-30 bucks) is good. Or just offer to buy dinner if you meet at a restaurant. Everyone will be more likely to show up and come back for the next one. You want trained actors. If a scene is flat or dialogue sloppy, you’ll know it’s on you as the writer rather than an amateurish performance.

3. Pre-Read. Send the scripts to the actors ahead of time or hand them a copy. Want them to have a chance to read through it and annotate their lines

4. Incentive for Actors. If you are a filmmaker or producer as well it’ll help you network with actors. Lead to future rules for them.

5. During the read. I suggest taking a food break in the middle of the read or at least a bathroom break. May take two hours to go through a script.

6. TAKE NOTES. If possible, have someone else read the narration. You want to be marking up your script and taking notes. You may also wish to video or audio record the performance to play later.

7. It’s a wrap. Pay everyone if you agreed to do so. Pick up the tab. Email ‘thank you’s. You’re creating your team.

Best of luck. Look for the video posting from my contest win in the months ahead at tablereadmyscreenplay.com.

Creating TV series ideas on spec

(Guest Blogger Erik Bork explains creating a new TV series. Erik has a free initial consult offer right now. The half hour/one page is great to brainstorm BEFORE you write it, saving you many drafts. Please mention I referred you. Thanks.)

Here’s something that comes up a lot when I work with writers who have original series ideas, and spend time mapping out multiple episodes, character breakdowns and “show bibles”…
If you’re not yet established and not yet represented, your spec pilot is primarily a WRITING SAMPLE. Yes, of course you hope that the idea sells and gets produced and becomes a series, but that is such a million-to-one shot (even for those of us who do this for a living and sell pitches to networks on a regular basis), that it’s more realistic to focus on first things first — which is for this pilot script to get you noticed, advance your career, possibly get you representation and meetings. Beyond that, who knows? But the networks aren’t looking for spec pilots from unknown writers that they might produce, nor is the possibility of producing it independently as realistic as in features (although with web series, that is changing somewhat).

This is not to be discouraging at all — a spec pilot can be a very viable writing sample, and you never know what could happen beyond that. Make it the best writing sample you can, that achieves what a good pilot script should achieve. Which is what?
Well, the script needs to stand on its own. You will not be asked about what will happen in future episodes, or have the opportunity to illustrate that through a separate document. Your job is to make sure that the pilot script suggests and implies that there are endless great future episodes in this SERIES CONCEPT, because what you’re presenting in the pilot illustrates an ENDLESSLY REPEATABLE “FRANCHISE” for what happens in an episode.

“What’s the franchise?” is a common thing you hear T.V. agents, producers, and executives asking. Look at any successful series, and you can probably explain in a paragraph the template for what an episode always includes, in terms of story structure — hopefully a template that’s compelling, entertaining, believable, and somewhat fresh. Think of LAW AND ORDER, BUFFY, STAR TREK, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, etc. A typical episode’s story usually involves “X” kind of problematic situations that resolve through “Y” kinds of actions and “Z” kinds of conflicts for your characters.

Your pilot script should clearly illustrate what “XYZ” are for your concept.
Understand that no matter how serialized the overall series will be, and how much the pilot needs to set up the basic concept (and how these characters and situation come together), the pilot should also contain within it a sample of the kind of story we’ll see each week — the kind of case, or finite example of the conflicts and problems this series will showcase, with a clear beginning, middle and end.

Buyers don’t usually like what they call a “premise pilot,” where the entire pilot episode only focuses on setting up the series, but doesn’t include a “sample story” that shows them what future episodes will look like. Most pilots now set up the basic series premise stuff quickly in the first act, then get to a sample story that takes the rest of the pilot to play out. OR, they interweave “premise” elements within such a sample story.

I could go on, but these are the basic thoughts I wanted to put out there. Please feel free to comment or ask questions if you have any!